Monday 22 October 2012

Raptember V: Rap-ematica

It took me a couple of weeks of on and off work to pull this monsterpiece together, but I am perversely proud of it. If I ever find the time, I will be hoping to make a music video based on this little gem from my childhood, but for now you just get the lyrics.

So-ciety, let's wig it!

Ice-ak-Newton...
Ice-ak Newton...

All right, stop.
Put a plug in all your ructions.
'Ice' is here with my brand new deduction.
Something of importance so heightened,
at the end of the age we will all be Enlightened.
Why do apples drop? Yo, you don't know?
Turn up the lights, and I'll show.
Something extreme to rock your naive world-model,
mess with your head, and contradict Aristotle.

First,
We need a bit of background.
Oblige me a while as I attempt to expound.
In Hist'ry, 'til we get to Gallileo
(you're gonna need this to get it to the full, yo),
they said objects stopped 'less you interfered
and when he disagreed, said he was weird.

Seems there's a problem? Yo, I solved it.
Check it out, Hooke, while my DJ revolves it...

Ice-ak Newton... Inertia
Ice-ak Newton... Inertia
Ice-ak Newton... Inertia
Ice-ak Newton... Inertia

Law:
That "An object in motion
continues to move (like waves on the ocean),
constant in speed, in constant direction,
unless it's compelled by a force of deflection".
No aether or classical elements
are in action, just rational events.
This is also why a body at rest
will stay right there. Now, ain't you impressed?

Hold on, because I ain't done.
Yo, my Mathematica's just begun.
I'm not just re-statin',
time to get creatin'.
Am I done? No! I'm cognatin'!
Keep on attending to the next one.
Ain't stopping me now, 'cause I'm getting to the real fun.
Momentum time.

Law:
Let me continue to "F = m a (multiplied)".
F is force acting upon a center.
m is the mass (as defined by me elsewhere).
a is the change in the speed
on time (acceleration's the word that we need).
Concept's so revolutionary,
when a unit is defined I guess they'll name it after me.

Clearly, from here can be inferred
that momentum has to be conserved.
Fallin' like an apple, real fast,
down from the tree, onto the grass.
A force is acting, to bring it to ground,
bringing that mass its way, sure as the earth is round.
From where comes this flow, and why is it so?
Just let me say, hypotheses non fingo!

Seems there's a problem? Yo, I'm solvin'.
Check it out, Hooke: Why the world is revolvin'.

Ice-ak Newton... Gravity
Ice-ak Newton... Gravity
Ice-ak Newton... Gravity
Ice-ak Newton... Gravity

Take heed, 'cause I'm a physical poet,
discovery machine, just in case you didn't know it.
Law: see that "Each and every action
has an equal and opposite reaction,
in opposing direction". You know it's true,
push on a stone, and feel the stone pushing you.

For engineering, this is a critical concept.
Isaac Newton. I authored these notions,
I've given to you all my laws of motion.
If there is credit due, 'snot mine,
belongs to all science.
Seen further by standing on the shoulders of giants.
Knighthood, your Highness? Then I'll take it, I guess.
Thankyou all for your time. That concludes my address.

Seems there's a problem? Yo, I'm solvin'.
Check it out, Hooke: Why the world is revolvin'.

Ice-ak Newton... Show's over
Ice-ak Newton... Show's over
Ice-ak Newton... Show's over
Ice-ak Newton... Show's over

Yo man, let's get out of here.
Word to your professor.
 
It doesn't scan that nicely, I know, but I feel like it holds reasonably true to the original, which does'nt either, and with rap it's pretty easy to cheat. That concludes Raptember 2012, and few raps short, but it gives me something to aim for next year. If you want to be in the music video, let me know.

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