Raptember IV: A Night to Raptember

Just because his partner in rhyme wasn't producing couldn't stop this messenger from going about his appointed rounds, so come another week and Dan Thomas, VIP of rap, delivered this one too:

'twas the night before Chris'mas, the mood was all good.

I was just hangin', chillin out in ma hood.

But somethin' was naggin', tho I couldn't grizzle,

then I knew what it was, I wanted some egg-nizzle.

I leapt on the 'net, found this sweet recipe,

and that's what I'm gonna be rhymin' at ye.

If ya think these beats good, then you should've seen

me beatin' one dozen yolks into a cream.

I added sweet sugar, one-point-five of a cup,

and mixed for 10 minutes 'til the [EDITED FOR RADIO] thickened up.

I added in milk, a whole one-point-five litres,

and stirred it by hand - no more electric beaters.

Now I ain't no fool, who needs booze to feel sweet,

but if you want, Now's the time to add canned heat.

Two cups of Klippies' what you use if you can,

and three-fourths of Marlon if they doubt you're a man.

Whip to stiff peaks, now, two cups of cream,

and separately all of the whites you stripped clean.

Fold ev'ry thing together, fo'shiz

and mix it like it ain't nobody's biz.

Now I must confess to my Yule eggnog vice,

two teaspoons of the Myristica spice.

Keep the mix chilled (that is, if you can wait,)

either way, this recipe should serve eight.

 

I was really going to have to yet on my metaphorical bike.