Tuesday, 16 October 2012


The challenge, a rap every week for September, where 'rap' is defined as any piece of verse that could conceivably be conveyed by a teenager in baggy clothing to the accompaniment of his little brother inexpertly beatboxing. Dan Thomas, of future archeological fame and reknown, leapt into the fray:

I was just hangin'
out in the hood,
doin' whatever I wanted or could.
I looked at the date,
just then I remember
this here is the very first week of Raptember!
I sat down at once
and wasted no time
gettin' down to business and pennin' a rhyme.
I sent it at once
with hopes to engender
Tommy-D to reply on the third of Raptember.
Now there's nothing left
to do but kick back
in a warm leather chair with a glass of cognac
and soak up the warmth
of the coals in the fender,
contentedly glowing, each one a "Rapt-ember".
Break it down.

So, Dan had delivered, it was my turn, and there was no way that I could let a line like that last one go unpunished:

Well the days fly by
like the discounts at Coles,
an' my muse has vamoosed, it's outside my control.
But jus' like Marlon Brando,
I wanna be a contender.
I'll get back on the track, 'cause this is Raptember, yo!

Time is a-wasting
like the Bloods and the Crips.
I wanna tighten my writin' but I'm coming up zips.
Danny-T threw the gauntlet
And I gotta accept 'er,
Or admit I'm not it when it comes to Raptember, yo!

I ain't got what it takes
to re-master the beat?
I ain't ceding to that reading: 'cause I'm here to compete.
Yeah I know it ain't so
An' I ain't just some pretender
been dreaming of Em-Ceein' since I was a Rapt-embryo!

[Baboons and Pigs]

It's your turn, dawg.

But wait, it gets worse...

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